Basic Parenting Skills

Definition: Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth, or before, until adulthood.

Five Basic Parenting Skills:

1. Encouragement
2. Can Do
3. Choices
4. Self-Control
5. Respecting Feelings

ENCOURAGEMENT

1. 1. Notice something you like.
2. 2. Notice how you feel.
3. 3. Say it! (I feel . . . that you. . . .)
4. 4. Notice how your child responds.

What you can expect:

Children learn to value who they are and what they do.

Parents discover and value their children’s evolving strengths.

CAN DO

1. Notice what you don’t want your child to do.
2. Think of something your child can do instead.
3. Tell your child what he or she can do.
4. Help your child if necessary.
   

What you can expect:

Children are able to change unacceptable behaviors to acceptable ones.

Parents gain a constructive limit-setting technique that recognizes their children’s need to be creative and explore their world.

CHOICES

1. Help your child understand the problem.
2. Your child and you think of two or more reasonable choices.
3. Have your child choose and tell you the choice.
4. Help your child follow through.

What you can expect:

Children make decisions within reasonable limits provided by adults.

Parents share the decision-making process with their children.

SELF-CONTROL

1. Pay attention to body messages telling you that you are about to lose control.
2. Think of ways to control yourself.
3. Choose a way and get control of yourself.
4. Decide how to act with your child.
   

What you can expect:

Children learn by example how to handle their feelings.

Parents learn to manage their response to strong emotions.

RESPECTING FEELINGS

1. Watch and listen to your child.
2. Think of a word that describes what your child might be feeling.
3. Think about why your child might be feeling this way.
4. Check your ideas with your child.
   

What you can expect:

Children accept and understand their own feelings.

Parents understand and accept that children have a wide variety of feelings.

Parents show that they respect their children’s feelings.

WHAT TO REMEMBER

Remember that no matter what a child’s outward behavior may be, a parent’s encouraging words help a child feel good inside about something he or she has done or said. By paying attention in this positive way, a parent teaches a child to feel encouraged.

ENCOURAGEMENT is a skill used to help your children learn to value themselves and what they do.

CAN DO is a skill you use when your children are doing something you don’t want them to do.

CHOICES are used when parents are willing to let their children make decisions within reasonable limits.

SELF-CONTROL is the skill you use when you notice body messages that tell you that you could lose control.

RESPECTING FEELINGS is a skill you use when you notice your child has strong emotions.

Speak and listen with care; Be consistent: Follow through; Remain patient.